Ice Cream Combat
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Sequel to Hardware Woes.  The Acolytes go out for ice cream, but run into some unexpected and familiar faces.


**Ice Cream Combat**

"Are you sure you don't want something?" Remy asked as he sat in a booth at the ice cream parlor.

"Yes," Piotr replied sitting across from Remy. "You paid using money you stole from the hardware store. I will not do the same, even if I did not take it."

"Come on Piotr, where do you think Mags gets the money he gives us?" Remy asked as he ate his cinnamon sundae. "It's the same thing."

"Not to me," Piotr said.

"Well how about you just pay me back when we get back to the base?" Remy asked.

"No."

"What if I got you something anyway and refused to eat it myself. You wouldn't want to see good food go to waste, now would you?"

"You wouldn't."

"Wanna bet?"

"Alright," Piotr groaned, giving in.

"Good to hear," Remy reached down on the seat next to him and placed a root beer float on the table.

"But…how did you…" Piotr sputtered.

"I got it for you when I got mine," Remy grinned.

"I should have known," Piotr groaned as he took a sip.

"You're welcome. Enjoy," Remy smirked.

"Ya got him to eat it, huh?" Pyro held a large bowl of Triple Lemon Mint ice cream as he slid into the booth next to Remy.

"Yep," Remy replied smugly around a mouthful of sundae.

"Figures," Pyro shook his head.

"Where's Sabes?" Remy asked.

"Oh, he's just having a little discussion with the manager," Pyro grinned.

"Whaddya mean you don't have any beer flavored ice cream?" Sabertooth snarled at the manager and a server behind the counter. "Or scotch flavored. You got nearly every other flavor possible! But you don't have beer flavored?! What kind of place is this?"

"Uh, a family friendly one?" the server shrunk back in fear.

"So what? I'm a paying customer and the customer is always right. Got it?" Sabertooth bellowed and pounded the counter.

"Uh…" the manager gulped.

"I WANT MY BEER FLAVORED ICE CREAM!" Sabertooth roared.

"Here! Here you go sir! It's on the house!" another server ran up with a large bowl and handed it to Sabertooth.

"About time," Sabertooth grunted as he took the bowl and sniffed it. "Lousy service," he grumbled while walking away.

"Where did you get that?" the manager asked.

"I swiped one of Charlie's beers that he keeps out back and poured it over a few scoops of vanilla," the second server explained.

"WHAT?!" the manager yelped.

"Uh, does this mean I'm fired?" the first server gulped.

"Give me a minute to think it over," the manager thought.

"I am concerned about our recent actions," Piotr said as Sabertooth sat down next to him at the booth. "The police might identify us from the hardware store's security tapes."

"No problem," Remy waved after downing another bite of sundae. "I disabled their security system and destroyed all the tapes before I went and had fun."

"Yeah, and the explosion probably took care of anything Gambit might've missed," Pyro agreed.

"Wonderful," Piotr groaned, sipping his float.

"Hey, at least the public doesn't know we're mutants," Remy shrugged. "Unlike the X-Men and Brotherhood we can go around without anyone hassling us. At least until Mags says we can reveal ourselves."

"Yeah, and when we do, look out world!" Pyro laughed.

Piotr was only half listening as he watched a little girl with blonde hair walk by with an ice cream cone. To Piotr, she bore a close resemblance to his younger sister. _Ah_, Piotr mentally sighed. _It is the little things of one's youth that are the most precious._

Unfortunately, the little girl was so happy licking her ice cream that she accidentally bumped into the chair of a large blonde teenager.

"Hey, watch it you little brat!" Duncan Matthews spat while sitting with some of his jock friends. He shoved the girl aside, causing her to fall over and get ice cream all over her clothes.

"Wahhhh! Mummy!" the little girl cried and ran to her mother with tears streaking down her face.

"Stupid kid," Duncan scoffed as his friends laughed and got ready to leave.

Piotr face slowly turned red in anger. "Excuse me," he said as he got up and squeezed past Sabertooth.

"Oh boy," Remy whistled as he watched Piotr follow Duncan and his friends out the door. "I've never seen Piotr get mad like that. Wanna go watch? It should be interesting."

"No way mate," Pyro said after licking his spoon. "I have and believe me, you don't want to be around him when he's like that. I still have nightmares about it when he was that mad at me."

"Okay," Remy blinked. "Let's give him five minutes and then get outta here."

"Fine," Sabertooth grunted as he finished off his ice cream. "I'm gonna get one more for the road." He got up and headed to the front counter. He was halfway there when the door to the parlor opened and several familiar people came in. "Sabertooth!"

"What the?" Sabertooth spun around and saw Scott, Jean, Evan, Kurt and Bobby. Scott immediately lifted his shades and blasted Sabertooth in the chest.

"Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!" Sabertooth went sailing back and smashed into an empty booth.

"Scott, no!" Jean warned as Scott prepared to blast Sabertooth again.

"Hey, it's those Institute mutants!" someone shouted.

"You mutants better get outta here!" one large pardon warned.

"Listen, you don't understand what's going on…look out!" Scott shouted as he blasted Sabertooth again as he started to get up.

"Let's get out of here!" everyone ran for the doors. Parents with young kids had already left after the first optic blast.

"Nice going Fearless Leader," Bobby grumbled as he noticed the hateful glares people gave them as they left.

"Hello, looks like we got X-Men," Pyro said as he and Remy got up.

"Oh great, more of Magneto's stooges," Evan groaned.

"Watch what you're saying there boy," Remy warned as he slipped three cards into his palm. "Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

"What are you doing here?" Scott demanded.

"Gee, we're in an ice cream parlor," Remy drawled. "What do you think we're doing here?"

"Slow isn't he," Pyro laughed as he pulled out his lighter. "Who are you anyway? I don't remember seeing you before."

"The name's Cyclops. Remember it," Scott shot out an optic blast at Pyro.

"Yikes!" Pyro barely managed to dodge it. "You wanna fight? Bring it on!" Pyro created a large fire hippo and had it charge Scott. Bobby froze it before it reached him. "Hey! You killed Mr. Hippy!" Pyro cried as he started shooting flames at Bobby.

"You remember my cards, right _hommes_?" Remy grinned as he charged the three cards and tossed them at Scott, Evan and Kurt. The three X-men dived out of the way as the cards exploded. One card stopped in midair and came back at Remy. "Whoa!" Remy neatly flipped to the side and spotted Jean with her hands out having redirected the card. "Nice trick _chere_. Let's see how much you can handle." He began flipping a stream of exploding cards at Jean who protected herself by putting up a telekinetic shield.

"RRROOOAAARRR!" Sabertooth recovered from Scott's blasts and charged Evan.

"Take this hairball!" Evan shot out two fists worth of spikes. Sabertooth dodged between them and managed to backhand Evan into a table.

"Hahahahaha! Yeah! Yeah!" Pyro cackled as he continued his fire assault on Bobby. "Hahaha…Aaaaaahhhhhh!" Pyro yelled as an optic blast hit his side and sent him slamming into a wall.

"Thanks," Bobby waved at Scott.

"Get Sabertooth!" Scott ordered as he pointed where Kurt was busy keeping Sabertooth occupied by teleporting just out of his grasp.

"You got it. Heads up Nightcrawler!" Bobby shouted as he took aim.

"See ya!" Kurt teleported out of the way just as Bobby froze Sabertooth.

"Gaaahhhhh!" Sabertooth growled as he found himself incased in a block of ice from the neck down.

"Yes! I am so good." Bobby crowned with his fists in the air, not noticing the charged card Remy had managed to toss right between his feet.

BOOM!

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" Bobby was sent hurling back and landed on a table before falling to the floor. "Ow, ow, ow…"

"Ohhh, that really hurt," Pyro groaned as he managed to get back up. He glared at Scott who had moved to assist Jean with Remy. "Now I'm mad! Get ready to fry…ow!" Pyro yelped at the plate of ice cream Kurt had thrown at his head. "Hey, I wasn't finished with that!" he shouted as he created a large hydra-like creature with nine heads and had it start lashing out at Kurt. "NOBODY MESSES WITH MY ICE CREAM!"

"Yikes!" Kurt gulped as he desperately tried to stay one teleport ahead of the hyrda's flaming heads.

"Nice try Redeye," Remy taunted as he skillfully avoided Scott's blasts and continued his barrage of cards against him and Jean. "But you'll have to do better than that."

"Then let's try something different," Scott glanced over at Pyro. "Jean, Nightcrawler switch!"

"On it," Jean acknowledged as she moved over to confront Pyro.

"Nyah, nyah, can't get me!" Kurt teleported over to Remy and tried to distract him from Scott.

"We'll see," Remy grinned as he forced the two X-Men to scramble around like mad trying to avoid exploding cards.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"Hey, I'm not finished with you yet!" Pyro shouted at Kurt as he prepared to launch a fireball at him, only to see Jean blocking his path. "Nice hair shelia. Don't let it get burned!"

"Thanks for the tip," Jean levitated a chair behind Pyro and smacked him on the head.

"Ow!" Pyro yelped. Jean used the opportunity to grab Pyro's lighter with her telekinesis and brought it to her hand.

"Hey, give me back my lighter!" Pyro whined while rubbing his head. Jean telekinetically lifted him up and threw him at Remy.

"Got ya!" Remy managed to catch Pyro and helped him stand up as the X-Men regrouped and faced them.

"Oh boy," Pyro gulped as Evan and Bobby recovered and limped over to their teammates.

"You guys had enough?" Scott demanded as he held a hand to his shades.

"Uuuaaahhh!" Scott quickly glanced to his right, only to see an armored up Piotr charging through the front door. Piotr knocked Scott, Jean and Evan aside while Kurt teleported himself and Bobby out of the way.

Jean lost her grip on the lighter and sent it sliding across the floor. Pyro quickly moved and scooped it up. "Oh yeah!"

Piotr came to a stop next to a still frozen Sabertooth and quickly brought his fist down on the ice surrounding him.

"Gaaahhhh!" Sabertooth growled as the ice shattered and finally worked his way free. He shot a dangerous glare at the X-Men. "You little X-kiddies are dead meat!"

"Let's get 'em!" Remy grinned as the Acolytes wadded into the X-Men.

"Ohhh, man. Did someone get the number of that semi…hey!" Evan yelped as Piotr lifted him over his head. "Put me down!"

"I'll get him!" Bobby took aim at Piotr. Piotr turned and held Evan in front of him so that Bobby ended up freezing him instead.

"Oops!" Bobby gulped at the block of ice covering everything except Evan's head.

"Thanks for the help icecube," Remy snuck up behind Bobby and gave him an atomic wedgie.

"AAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" Bobby screeched.

"And that's just half of it. Hey Sabes," Remy shouted to Sabertooth. "Grab the frozen guy and come with me to the back. I've got an idea!"

"Right!" Sabertooth laughed after managing to snag Kurt and toss him into Scott. He picked up Evan and followed Remy to the storage part of the building.

"Make one move and I let go and you go boom," Remy warned as he charged up Bobby's boxers, shirt and pants.

"Whatever you say," Bobby gulped nervously.

"Cold…so cold…can't feel my fingers…" Evan whimpered.

"In here," Remy opened up one of the large freezers. Sabertooth tossed Evan's frozen form inside and then Remy threw Bobby in as well. "Better ditch those treads quick _homme_," Remy grinned as he slammed the freezer door shut. Sabertooth twisted the handle around and locked it. Remy turned to his teammate. "Piotr and Pyro should be able to handle the rest of 'em. Come on, I got a few more ideas."

"Hey let us out!" Bobby pounded against the door. He then came to a realization and looked down at his glowing clothes. "Uh oh…"

Meanwhile the tide had turned in the Acolyte's favor. Pyro had surrounded himself in a fire cage while he simultaneously tried to lash Kurt with fire whips. The fire cage was far enough away from Pyro to prevent burning his clothes, but was close enough so that Kurt couldn't teleport inside and grab him. Jean struggled to maintain a telekinetic shield around her while Piotr pounded away at it. Piotr's blows were so strong the shield was buckling and Jean was too strained to be able to mount any sort of offense. And Scott, well…

"Somebody get me down from here!" Scott yelled from where he was stuck to the ceiling. "And get whatever this sticky stuff is off my shades! They're stuck to my face!"

"I'm a little busy right now! Yeow!" Kurt yelped as he teleported around.

"Dance! Dance!" Pyro laughed maniacally.

"Kurt look out!" Scott shouted.

"Huh?" Kurt turned and looked at Pyro and so missed Remy sneaking up behind him and dumping a full bucket of raspberry sauce on him. "Yuck! My fur!"

"Come on let's go!" Remy shouted to him teammates as he hit Jean in the head from behind with more raspberry sauce. "Sabes heard police sirens heading this way!"

"You got it mate!" Pyro said as he and Piotr followed Remy out the front door.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH! MY HAIR!" Jean screamed.

"Man, that was wild!" Pyro grinned as the Acolytes piled into the truck. "Good thing you came back when ya did Colossus. We were having serious problems back there."

"Yeah. What happened with you and those jocks anyway?" Remy asked.

"Well," Piotr blushed. "I tried to talk to them about not harming young children. They said some very unkind things and made a few racial slurs so…" he pointed out the window.

The four beaten, battered jocks lay sprawled inside the dumpster behind the ice cream parlor.

"Yikes," Pyro blinked as he stared out the window. "Hey, where's that one blonde bloke?"

"Ummm," Piotr sheepishly pointed up. Duncan was hanging upside-down from the top of the flagpole wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and covered in garbage.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH! SOMEBODY HELP ME! OW! OW! OW! THE SEAGULLS ARE EATING ME ALIVE! YEOOOW! DON'T BITE ME **THERE**! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH! ONE JUST TOOK OUT A PIECE OF MY THIGH! OW! OW! OW! HELP! SAVE ME! MOMMMMYYYYYY!"

"Wow, talk about poetic justice," Remy grinned at Duncan's plight.

"That's great," Pyro laughed as Sabertooth pulled out of the parking lot and sped off just as police cars began to arrive. "How did they react when they realized you were a mutant?"

"They did not since I did not need to armor up. None of them knew how to fight like men," Piotr said.

"Not surprised. Those idiots probably couldn't beat an egg without somebody telling them how," Remy scoffed.

"What were you and Sabertooth doing in the back?" Pyro asked. "And what did ya do with those two X-Men?"

"We put 'em on ice," Sabertooth snickered as he drove. "Plus the Cajun charged the clothes of one of them."

"What!" Piotr gasped. "How could you do that?"

"Relax _homme_," Remy waved. "I made sure he had plenty of time to get rid of them before they exploded. Though he'll have an interesting time explaining his lack of attire to the cops."

"Too bad we couldn't do more to them for wrecking our time out," Pyro sighed.

"Well I did steal the hubcaps to their car, dumped sugar in their gas tank and smeared a few gallons of caramel sauce all over their car seats," Remy said.

"That'll do," Pyro shrugged.

"How did you know which car was theirs?" Piotr asked.

"There were only two other cars left in the parking lot, so I just did it to both of them," Remy explained. "The other one must belong to those jocks."

"Even better! Did ya remember to destroy the security tapes?" Pyro asked.

"Of course," Remy smirked.

"How will we explain this to Magneto? He may not understand why we went out for ice cream," Piotr warned as they headed back to the Acolyte base.

"No problem," Sabertooth chuckled. "I tore out an entire freezer of ice cream and loaded into the back of the truck. We'll give it to the boss. It's loaded with that French mocha flavor he likes.

"Perfect," Piotr groaned. "More thievery."

"At least the building is still standing this time," Pyro said. "We should come here again if they rebuild the place."

"We'll keep it in mind," Remy grinned.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.**


End file.
